Hunting Season... For Lawyers
Washington State Attorney
Season And Bag Limits
Section 1400.01 - General
-
Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may
harvest attorneys.
-
Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted.
-
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally
struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest
car wash.
-
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow
machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
-
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance",
or "open bar" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Cadillac
dealerships.
-
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, currency, or staged vehicle
accidents to attract attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms,
law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals.
-
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be
a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
-
Harvested attorneys must have a state health department inspection
for distemper and rabies prior to being stuffed or mounted.
-
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as an accident
victim, young law clerk, drug dealer, bookie, or sheep for the
purpose of attracting and hunting attorneys.